question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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