He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Cover your peen. We're going out.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
