Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
