I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
