Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
