i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
