Screwed.edu
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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