on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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