Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
