my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
