we made out on top of his cat.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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