We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just pee around me
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
