how can u be prego again
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
