Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
