A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize