i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We don't watch enough power rangers
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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