I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
