Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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