did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
