the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize