Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
