if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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