She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize