Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
