it wasn't lemon gatorade
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
