I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
