Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Randomize
