U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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