i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
