Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
