Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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