I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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