So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
then he tried to convert me to islam
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
