So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's blow job season.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
