Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
