So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
