But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
accomplished twins. life is a go
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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