yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
