so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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