Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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