there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
