We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
