i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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