I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
