Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
