i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
