You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
