I understand Curling. That high.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize