Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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