he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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