Christians are straight up FREAKS
its not stalking. its research.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
