love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
