We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
