just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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