Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
