I just cut my nipple shaving
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
