Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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