hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
