I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
