I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
